I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
