apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
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My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
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just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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