I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
nutella sex= disaster
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
