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I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
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