Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.