I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species