i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY