Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We talked him into tasing himself.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.