The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.