This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room