I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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