she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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