oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize