i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
