Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
