I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
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i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
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This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
So. Much. Porn.
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