Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
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Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
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He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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