"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize