you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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