i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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