My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize