Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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