one might say we're banned from that church
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
