Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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