She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She's the barista slut.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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