Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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