I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
please come you make the beer taste better
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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