It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
