After last night, I could never be a politician.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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