I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
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Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
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Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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