Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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