Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
