hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
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His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
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He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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