I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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