I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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