i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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