I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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