I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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