Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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