Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.