We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
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the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
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This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?