yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.