If that was your dad, he is hot
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED