it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking