Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts