Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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