Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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