Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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