Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
