I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She bit a glass in half.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
