I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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