Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Randomize
