He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize