she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.