I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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