his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
