I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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