last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
