thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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